Do you have any Charlie Swan headcanons? Romantic or not, he’s such an under appreciated character

maryalicebrandon:

  • All he wanted out of life was to live in Forks and be a wonderful dad where he’d take his children out for icecream every Friday afternoon and go to the park. He’d take his baby girl out on daddy and daughter dates. 
  • When Renee left with Bella, Charlie was heartbroken. Maybe if Renee just left him, that would be fine. But she went across the country, and got full custody of his little girl. He never dealt with it properly. So he put himself into his work and worked so hard to ignore the empty feeling in his heart. 
  • When Bella returned Charlie had so many plans to do stuff with her but Bella never seemed interested so he never mentions any of his ideas to her, because he didn’t want to seem overeager. 
  • Charlie totally started a bring your child to work day at the police station. He would spend the day teaching the kids about what its like to be a police officer and let them spend time with the police dogs in training. The children in Forks love it every year. He doesn’t put an age limit to it because he knows the teens love the dogs still. 
  • Charlie knows he could easily learn how to cook to save money from going to the diner every night. But he loves the town so much and its his chance to socialize and get to know his town, outside of being the chief of police. Besides he knows Pam makes the best lemon bars and will always ask her for the secret recipe that she refuses to give him. 

lapush-baby:

Twilight characters as John Mulaney quotes

Edward: THAT’S SOMETHING IM SENSITIVE ABOUT.

Bella: I think Emily Dickinson was a lesbian.

Emmett: why are people always shushing animals? They’ve never spoken.

Jasper:  See, I just don’t think babies like me very much. Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.

Carlisle:  My wife said that walking around with me is like walking around with someone who’s running for mayor of nothing.

Alice:  I was 18 years old, I looked like I was 11. I lived like a goddamn Ninja Turtle. I didn’t drink water the entire time.

Feel free to add to this!

marveliskindacool:

sexualthorientation:

thesocialnetworkost:

“describe thor and loki’s dynamic with a single gif”

image

#i love how thor doesn’t even really try to stop loki’s murder knives it’s just a weary hand like ‘oh dear #‘don’t’ #‘can we not do this today’ #‘this has been my entire life do you see’ #‘[softly] loki no’ #this really is the dynamic (via @et-in-arkadia)

It’s like jazz hands but murder

mjalti:

seaflying-fliptuna:

enajcosta:

aviculor:

crystalquintessential:

mjalti:

humancoffeegrounds:

mjalti:

do u think that angels having sex with humans was seen as like beastiality in angel-world

do you think that when you reach the gates of heaven they’ll show you this post 

bold of you to presume I can die

Pretty sure they actually answer this in the bible and the answer is yes. The whole ‘Lucifer and the lesser angels want have free will’ part has the ‘angels also wanting to be gendered so they can be with humans’ part in it.

god was kinkshaming satan

God got a virgin pregnant without consent, he can mind his business

She did consent tho, like, that’s a whole thing, I’ve been in masses where the main focus was Mary’s Yes. It didn’t happen without warning, an angel was literally like “hey my pal up there is thinking u should birth his humansona” and she was like “that’d be an honor”

I didn’t claw my way out of hell just to be sent back there by reading the word Humansona,