So y’know how last year there were those conspiracy theories about how the government was putting in tunnels and chambers underneath Walmart stores, well now they’re putting immigrant kids in empty Walmarts and suddenly all those theories are much much more sinister

silly question but did ‘bougie’ (as in the slang for expensive/high class) come from bourgeoise?

fellas what’s the ideal gay outfit

are there any palaeoartists on here willing to answer some questions about it (mostly relating to qualifications and work)? im a first year geology/palaeobiology major and I’d love to someday work as a palaeoartist but I don’t know where to start

reasons im definitely a vampire

• light sensitive

• needs to be explicitly invited into places

• -10000 energy during th daytime but once the sun goes down whoo boy it’s Time To Go™️

• knows a ton of obscure facts about the past

• v picky about food

• all black outfits all day every day

• pale as shit skin

• aversion to crosses

• manners from the 1800s

the best thing that’s happened to me is the realisation that if i don’t like something about my body i can just fuckin change it and i don’t need permission from anyone to do so

Things my lecturers said in my first semester of uni

* “Im trying to convince you this is a real science”

* “We were at a military test site littered with wrecked planes and tanks and we’re like ‘we wanna hit some rocks with projectiles’” “so we shot projectiles at 21cm/s, the sandstone was sand”

* “So we jumped the fence and stole some rocks. We were carrying clipboards, no one questions you when you’re carrying a clipboard”

* “And finally: a big pile of shit” “I was spoilt for choice of what type of shit to put in front of you”

* *drops down onto stomach to mimic lizard posture*

* “They’re the horny dinosaurs”

* “Thighbone or scrotum?”

* “I am really a 12 year old child”

* “Not last year, last week. It’s been a long semester”

* “These things are bloody great! Weirdest organisms ever”

* “So lucky we still have snails”

* “Palaeomagicians”

* “There’s some frantic hoovering going on”

* “Plate tectonics giveth and plate tectonics taketh away”

* “Take home message is ‘study for the bloody exam!’”

* “Am I really gonna do this?” *breaks out into the galaxy song from Monty python’s the meaning of life*

* “Buy a bike, plant a tree, don’t breathe”

* “Do you know there are websites called the flat earth society?!”

* “We don’t go back in time in this class”

* “So you’re saying not all animals do it in the dark like we do?”

* *brings actual radioactive material into class*

* “‘Hot stuff!’ That must be about you POD!”

* “We’re gonna be doing sex and drugs” “and rates of change”

* *massive audio distortion over the speakers* “we’re hearing god”

* “Can you smell fire? It’ll be alright”

* “Interesting story about viagra”

* “No wonder I’ve got blood pressure, I need to be on viagra”

* “A lot of older people drink like that – like I do – every night. Teaching this class is driving me to drink”

* “Apart from his fetish for gardening”

* “Die die die”

* “Oh! Its [redacted], the windows are sealed shut!”

* “Now we’re going to look at a lot of internet memes”

i figured out why i love uni so much, it’s bc when im there i don’t have to hide

i should really start bringing an alternative to a binder to uni so I can nap in the queer room