Bilbo Baggins: round & fat rabbit that, when encountered, speaks your greatest personal flaw in an unsettling human voice before vanishing in a puff of scented smoke.
Frodo Baggins: magpie that comes into your house at night & quietly alphabetises your book collection. may bring you a book in exchange for an offering of rare mushrooms BUT the book will be in an ancient & unreadable language and heavier than its size suggests.
Sam Gamgee: bear that silently approaches people alone in the woods and gives them a comforting hug. can only be Encountered once but people who have been hugged report seeing him watching them from a distance with big, dark eyes, as if checking up on them.
Merry Brandybuck: fox that stalks travellers and laughs at their misfortune in a human voice, exudes strong sense of tobacco. fears nothing except perhaps fire. do not approach under any circumstances. MAY leave you alone if you leave a pipe on the ground for him.
Pippin Took: bird that first appears in the distance but, every time you look away, gets closer. if he reaches you he will steal all your food. if you leave out a pie for him, he will share his knowledge with you but whatever he tells you will be 100% untrue as he doesn’t actually know shit.
Fatty Bolger: Very Large raccoon that sits outside your window all night and just, stares. rumoured to provide assistance with small-scale problems in exchange for food. smells like pie.
Rosie Cotton: a cat that moves into your house if you leave it empty for too long. it is her house now. do not feed her or she will spawn more and more tiny versions of herself. screams can rupture human ear drums.
Lobelia Sackville-Baggins: tiny goblin that sneaks into your kitchen after you go to bed and steals all your spoons.
Hamfast Gamgee: A large star-nosed mole who, if you neglect your garden, will steal all your plants and take them to his own secret garden to care for. Attentive gardeners, however, have secrets whispered up from the soil on how to make their plants thrive, and he only take a few potatoes as tithe.
The fact he’s named kinda brushes over the fact this is a wild elephant. Born in the wild, raised in the wild, the only human interaction is watching the safaris. And after mean humans shot him, he decided the best course of action was to go visit the nice humans who just take pictures in hopes they’d help him. And then, even though they didn’t help him right away, he trusted that because they continued to be nice, he was safe, and they would help him.
also the people saw an elephant and were like “that’s a ben”
i hope he tells the other elephants where they can get help
Orphans who were rescued, raised, and released by the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust in Kenya have communicated that it is a place of safety to other elephants who’ve never even been there.
Injured animals will show up there when they have been harmed by poachers because they know it is a place where they can get help!
i am very glad elephants have a functioning yelp system
“Took a little while to get served the quality of service made up for it. 4/5 stars. Would reccomend”
Everyone currently panicking and asking people to follow their twitters, because of the recent news, feels like an impending apocalyptic event, where society and civilization are ultimately crumbling down
oh yeah my primary social media app is the one that got banned from multiple app stores for having child porn on it. the bone incident? sorry, you’ll have to be more specific, i’m aware of at least three instances of people posting about handling human remains.
It doesn’t make us go crazy. We just don’t understand the why. No one has ever satisfactorily explained why bagged milk is better than milk in jugs.
There is no literal reason since the jugs we use are just as cheap as bags and with a bag you need to put it into something as soon as it’s opened because otherwise you’re crying over spilt milk
I don’t understand why y’all use jugs though. They’re so impractical.
No they’re not. You have a self contained stand able container.
With a bag you have one floppy boi
We have holders for that. There’s no real difference.
Wouldn’t it be crazy if there was a way you could hold milk without grabbing a separate holder? Some sort of solid plastic or cardboard container, that would be so cool.
Then there are Soviet milk pyramids. Those are the oddest milk containers of all but they’re really cool.
valar apologist 