teachers, share the weird crap your kids have done!
I’m not a teacher (yet) but I do work with students and one of them had the nerve to look me dead in the eye and ask me “why would it be a bad idea for me to eat this entire marker?” They’re 11
An 4th grader asked for a high five by saying, “A little slappy to make daddy happy?”
I did not give him a high five.
A student during break had her head in her arms and was shaking a bit, so i asked the kid next to her whether she was laughing or crying and this 8 year old stared me in the eye deadpan and said “im crying on the inside”
Wait i take that back, I cant believe i forgot about the time i brought in a small stuffed octopus as a class mascot because why tf not. It was a class of high schoolers and i didnt imagine theyd actually care much, but one student snuck in a snack and gave it to the octopus as a tribute. Which led to other students doing the same thing, until every day there was a pile of of offerings to Fweej the Overseer, mostly consisting of things like string cheeses and small bags of chips, but sometimes there wouldd be a couple bucks in quarters, one kid brought in some giant pocky i think, and at one point there was a cold stone gift card. This stuffed octopus gained a cult following.
Later i brought in another stuffed octopus that looked exactly the same but bigger and told the class that Fweej the Overseer accepted their offerings and became stronger. These highschoolers lost their goddamn minds.
Oh my god I love this. Thank you for letting those kids be the dorks all high schoolers are.
This might actually be worse than the infinity stones thing lmao
What was the infinity stone thing?
Marvel Vs Capcom: Infinite Collector’s Edition was suppose to come with cool light up infinity stones but instead ended up shipping with The Infinity Easter Eggs.
How come reading tea leaves is seen as this sophisticated, witchy thing but if I slam dunk an open can of Chef Boyardee ravioli onto the pavement in the gas station parking lot to see what kind of soda the old ones think I should buy, foodstuff divination suddenly isn’t cool anymore?
‘Tis the fuckin’ season, friends!! Get out there and live your worst life!!
What the fuck is happening
Why don’t you grab a can of ravioli and ask!
how about I just whip a can of Mountain Dew as high into the air as I can and read the splash patterns when it busts open on the road?
I have until a car drives over it and makes tire tracks in the dew to get a good reading, and somehow the busy streets seem to be more accurate at this form of divination.
when i grow up i want to be a library goblin. i get paid to wander the shelves and be discovered curled up and reading in unlikely places, perhaps hissing if i am interrupted in the middle of a good part. why would a library pay for this service you ask? because it will add to the ambiance next question
I’ve done this at home for my whole life, never thought about the employment opportunity.
i encourage you to do so! the library goblin career path is rewarding and open to anyone!
People keep asking who would do all the menial jobs if they didn’t have the threat of starvation hanging over their heads, but in my experience there are plenty of people who would be overjoyed to spend all day running minor errands for folks if they were allowed to tell the rude ones to fuck off.
If money wasn’t a problem, I actually enjoy the physical labor of my job and the sense of fulfillment at having something concrete I can look at and accomplish—it’s the being treated like a vending machine/punching bag while also making barely liveable wages that make the whole thing suck, not the work itself
I really enjoyed the tetris like feel of bagging groceries and stocking shelves for years. What wore me down was the inconsistent hours, bad pay, poor treatment of workers overall (they treated the elderly employees especially horribly) and nasty customers who I couldn’t tell off.
For more pay, and more protection, I’d have happily stayed for a while longer.
I absolutely LOVE working early hours making coffee and tea and donuts and all that. I would fucking show up at 4am in the morning to work in a coffee shop that doesn’t have a manager constantly screaming at how long the line is and how many sales we need to make in an hour to reach our quota.
Like, I just really enjoy making food and mornings and people.
Yeah tbh I really like selling phones and helping people understand their technology, I love helping people in general, if malwart wasn’t such a hell hole it’d be perfect
Mutual aid is essential to the survival of so many, and that’s why I am making (another) post listing some people in need of financial help. This list is by no means an exhaustive one, and you can add yourself and/or members of your community. If you’ve got some disposable income you don’t know what to do with, consider helping some of the people below.
@smoochuu and their partner need help for transportation. You can donatehere and here. Their Venmo is tominova.
@chaosjudgement needs help feeding her nephew and gas money. You can donate hereand/or here.
valar apologist 