white person: *eats chicken tikka masala once* i just…. i feel so connected… to indian culture …. I’m learning to speak islam…. check out my third eye….. chakra
Every time I see this. Every damn time. I’m immediately sucked back into my fuckin. Fuckin English lit class with Mr. Fuckass McShit. Mr. “Hit the gong to begin class”, “Namaste, Children”, “I wanna go backpacking in India to find my spiritual awakening and also my left burkinstock that I lost during a cedar sauna drum circle” ass bastard.
“Do you want to share your poetry with the class to get in touch with your emotions” ass fucker. Mr. “Here’s a photograph of a tribal shaman, describe him using nature words” asshole. Pretentious-ass, condescending motherfucker.
“Do you want to tell us about your saddest memory?”
“I dunno, sir. Are you giving me an option?”
“No.”
“Then why are you asking”
Every goddamn day. Fuck. “You seem tense.” Oh, I seem tense? I seem tense. Well fuck, Professor Pillsbury, maybe I ‘seem tense’ because I walk into a room on five hours of sleep to the sound of a goddamn brass gong drilling through my brain and your seven-foot-nine, socks-and-sandals-wearing, patchouli-smelling ass immediately gravitates in my direction with some shit like “a tree……… Is a Poem” and I gotta sit here and politely tell you that No I’m Not Comfortable Telling The Class About A Time I Was Emotionally Vulnerable With A Loved One using words that sound like the way the color yellow smells. Maybe I don’t wanna sit in a circle and hold hands with Brittney from Computer Sciences to “align our auras” or some shit. Fuck. Fuuuuuuck.
I swear to God, if I wanted to sing ‘kumbaya’ with a smelly old guy with gross facial hair who writes bad porn on the side, I’d go out to the parking lot and share a Hookah with Crazy Dan, the disgraced electrician.
What, I don’t wanna do an interpretive dance to represent the spiritual experience of eating Quinoa in a room full of ambivalent preteens and suddenly I’m the ‘troubled youth’ you need to Robin Williams “O Captain My Captain” your way into having a Paternal Bonding Moment powerful enough to Expand My Impressionable Young Mind and Turn My Life Around, you goddamn saint, you? Jesus Fucking Christ. You insufferable jackass. You’re not “Enlightened”, you rolled out of bed and ate half a pot brownie, wrote a sad song about a leaf, and strolled into class to ramble about your Spirit Animal for six hours straight before calling it a day. Holy Jesus goddamned Christ. Fucking Balls, sir. Holy Fucking Balls
Okay but I wanna know what Crazy Dan did to become a disgraced electrician
It is well documented that tens of thousands of American vets are homeless and twenty or more veterans commit suicide daily, veterans have even been deported, but the Army wants you to think it’s failure in bringing in recruits is the fault of a “strong” economy. Pfft.
A massive thank you to my client for permission to post this! I was asked to do the book cover for Peter Roe series XIX, “Reading J.R.R. Tolkien’s works through a Spiritual lens” (published by Luna Press Publishing in collaboration with The Tolkien Society.)
My friend and I are discussing various English/UK accents and I just fucking blurted “Australian accents are like if Britain had a Texas” and guys I feel like I’ve cracked the goddamn code
There are 4 types of responses to this post
1) “I’m Australian/British/a Texan and this is fucking disgusting/offensive/problematic and here’s why”
2) “I’m Australian/British/a Texan and you’re absolutely right and I hate you for it”
3) Actual smart linguistics/etymology people describing the progression of accents and proving how big of a dumbass I am
Why Movies About College are Actually Full of Shit.
This is very important because my brother and I grew up thinking college was like this. Like we would live out a beer commercial.
And when I got to college and it DIDN’T happen, it stressed me out. I thought I was doing something wrong again. I had, apparently, messed up high school according to the media, and now college?! The supposed best time of my life?! It created a big depression, and living far from home made it worse as I had no friends or family I could immediately talk to. It took a long time for me to understand that movies and commercials and shows that portray college like that is complete and utter bullshit.
Also, a reminder:
Most Americans don’t have college degrees. Of the ones who do, tons of them don’t finish in four years.
Lots of people go to community colleges.
Lots of people live at their parents’ house while in school.
The TV and movie stereotype of college–even just the “everyone goes to college and lives in a dorm” thing–only a tiny minority of Americans actually live that out.
Kelston Boys’ High School perform a massive haka in honour of the new Maori carving on campus
I live for this
This is the first recording of a Haka I’ve seen that manages to capture even a fraction of the true energy of it. And it’s because there’s so many of them that those boys would have been shaking the ground.
Seeing these boys in their modern uniforms and jackets and backpacks that say NIKE, participating in this ancient ritual, really just drives home what people mean when they say “I am not a costume.” The clothes here are not important. The energy and participation are important.
standing up and blacking out for a few seconds is just transitioning from a cutscene to the actual gameplay
You motherfuckers need to eat salt is what that means
fun fact antidepressants can cause low sodium levels.
when i was on them, i didnt know this, and my parents hated that i craved salt because “salt is unhealthy”, so i didn’t get enough–and blacked out and got dizzy a LOT.
if ur on antidepressants make sure to get enough salt!! i know media says salt=bad but i promise your body needs it!!
valar apologist 