The dean of students took the wheels from my heelys I feel like Lucifer stripped of his wings
I have to walk down the hallways like a common wench and I’m LIVID
this is 100x more tragic than the story of icarus, fight me
one time the math teacher stopped me in the halls and said “hey! no skateboarding inside!” so i stopped and then he was like “wait, where’d the skateboard go” and i started heelying and he looked really surprised for a second and just said “look, i’m not sure if thats against the rules or not, so i wont stop you. but if it turns out that it is against the rules, i didn’t not stop you.”
So this has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it three days ago.
this is the polar opposite of Everybody Knows Shits Fucked
i didn’t know this til i looked up the video on youtube, but this dude is a super cool and accomplished musician! his name is Rushad Eggleston–wikipedia describes him as “an innovative musician who has changed the way the cello is played,“ but according to his personal website he’s a “cello goblin & otherworldly jester currently touring earth”
It’s absolutely okay to have a full party of tieflings and dragon-people and such. None of the playable races in Dungeons & Dragons are actually meant to be rare. They just mark anything that doesn’t appear in Lord of the Rings as “rare” as a token concession to a small but extremely vocal core of beardy old grognards who will totally flip their shit if anything that doesn’t appear in Lord of the Rings shows up in their Player’s Handbook. It’s one of those compromises that leaves everybody equally unhappy; the grognards get to point at the “rare” tag as evidence that they aren’t realD&D races (but still grumble about them being present at all), and normal people get more options (but still get salty about their favourite splat being treated as second class).
Way back before I ever came out as trans (future historians will refer to this era as the Dude Years), I was always really open about being bisexual. Well, back in like 2013 I think it was, I discovered that the group I was rolling with at that time were convinced that I was actually straight and was pretending to be bi as some sort of elaborate joke. I swear to God.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with the phenomenon known as “gay chicken,” but this is when two Straights gradually increase their level of physical contact until one of them becomes uncomfortable and tells the other to stop, at which point the other Straight is said to have “won.” So we’re at the house, and I’m standin around doin my thing, and this dude comes up behind me and starts grinding on my ass. I gathered that I had become roped into this strange ritual.
“We’re playing gay chicken right now, aren’t we?” I sez, not turning around.
“Yeah,” he says.
“You know I’m bisexual, right?” I sez.
And this scraggly motherfucker *laughed.* I swear to God.
So I sez, “Alright, drop your pants.”
To which he responds, Whuuuuuh???“
“Or we can go inside if it’ll make you more comfortable. Go ahead, drop your pants and stick your dick in my mouth.”
I swear to God that man looked at me as though I’d just shown him some kinda dark eldritch secret unfit for the mind of man and he backed up and walked away real slow like I were a rattlesnake. And tbh I mark that as the day our friendship ended.
tumblr witches cast a hex on the overwatch devs for “appropriating pagan culture” with whatever the halloween skins are gonna be
out of context screenshots of scooby doo become a really big meme one week for some reason, especially anything with scrappy doo
trilllizard deletes. he says it’s because he’s matured and grown tired of tumblr, but we all know the real reason
the mobile app develops a new glitch where posts meant for a sideblog occasionally also post to the primary blog if your phone lags and you spam the button too much. chaos ensues
reylo fans try to launch a con. they don’t call it reylo con, but because that’s the only people posting about it, everyone calls it reylo con. antis are banned of course. so is anyone else with a sense of dignity. it never happens and the organizers run off with the $72,000 in crowd-funded money
warriormale comes back to announce he’s started his own training program, which becomes wildly successful
mcdonalds announces the limited edition fortnite burger, which leads to a repeat of the szechuan sauce fiasco
valar apologist 