So picture me, playing some Dark Souls for the very first time, now 20 hours in and happily (…kinda) grinding my way through Blighttown with my faithful character Bepis Jones V. I don’t know most of the mechanics but I’ve got a solid grasp on the controls and some great armor and weaponry, plus a bit of pyromancy.
Along the way, I get how most people get in Blighttown (I’ve heard), and decide I need help. So I decide to do what the game told me to ages ago for the second time: summon an NPC helper.
So, I try to call up my main man Solaire, but instead the summon rock thingy offers me a different NPC with an odd name. I figure it’s probably as good as Solaire, and summon it. I’m greeted with a wizard who immediately starts wrecking shit all over; goddamn, this NPC is broken!
After a few minutes of running into walls, I continue my journey, little wizard NPC friend following along as happy as can be. Occasionally, I wave and beckon to it, jumping for joy as I recklessly run into big bugs and wizard friend saves me. It sometimes bows back; cool AI, I thought. I also sometimes hit and knock it into holes for my amusement. It always gets back out but I have a good laugh.
Finally, as most DS runs go, I fall into a pit. I’m dead, NPC is banished to the shadow realm until I get my humanity back or something, blah blah blah.
AND THEN THE “NPC” SENDS ME A FRIEND REQUEST ON STEAM I WASTED THIS PERFECTLY NICE GUY’S TIME FOR AN HOUR DOING STUPID SHIT BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS AN NPC I DID NOT REALIZE DARK SOULS HAD COOPERATIVE MULTIPLAYER
the guy was having the time of his life o guarantee you
yall I fucking bled for this peice of trash pls like it
oh. I thought it was a photo.
Damn it took me 5 minutes to figure out why you wanted people to like a picture of soap. You did such a good job people think you are just posting random pics of soap.
this isn’t the fist time this has happened, I painted lube and everyone was confused that I posted a picture of lube
This is such a Monkey’s Paw kind of talent. Being so talented at hyperrealistic art that people just think they’re photos and don’t care.
I edited the let’s go lesbians clip to be just the “let’s go lesbians!” part without the trivia questions and whatnot for a fun alarm tone. I figured yall might have fun with it too
When the new gay get fired for not doing thier job
When the new gay shows up after getting his job back for blowing the manager
When the district manager fires both of you, and the manager, for starting drama in addition to having inappropriate sexual relationships with management.
When you, the unmentioned fourth gay, sat there and ate your food and watched your messy coworkers get fired for starting unnecessary drama.
When the fired for the second time gay finds out there was another gay the entire time
when you’ve been waiting in line for ten minutes and just want to buy some fucking hand soap
when the gay who just got fired gets a new terrible job but then one day the district manager passed by and offered the gay a job position after the higher ups revisited the case and deemed the fired manager mostly responsible, so the gay in disbelief goes
I did an experiment. I went to our local grocery store and I apologized to every person I walked past. “Ope! Sorry!”
And every single person said, “Oh no, you’re fine!”
Nobody asked me what I was sorry for. It was just kind of assumed that I was sorry for existing, and if that isn’t the most midwestern thing I’ve ever heard of, I don’t know what is.
We’re just assuming that whatever it is you “did” we didn’t feel/notice so of course it’s fine, we’re fine cause you’re fine so everyone is fine…?
valar apologist 