I’m reading Icelandic family sagas for my uni classes and it’s just torture
not because they’re bad or hard to read just. the literary choices.
When you have a protagonist – or even just a character – of a tale they’re often given an extra name dependent on what they’ve done or a quality of theirs (think Turin Turambar) mostly cos they didn’t have surnames back then so it was the best way to tell everyone apart and.
The protagonist of this saga is Thorir, who is known to the North Country as Hen-Thorir. because he sold some chickens once. HEN. Thorir. It wasn’t even because it was his ‘thing’, the text literally says he did this “on one occasion” and I can’t believe this is how this author decided to introduce his eponymous character.
Imagine waiting your whole life to earn an honourific to your name that would define your legacy, something that makes you completely unique from all the others that share your first name, something that puts you on the level of Harald Fairhair, Geir the Rich, Halfdan the Free-Handed but Foot Stingy (that’s so specific how the hell did he get that?) and then you do one mundane thing.
You sell a chicken. ONCE. And that’s it. That’s your legacy; you are now The Chicken Guy FOREVER. That’s such a terrifying thought. Imagine calling someone Coffee Kelly cos you saw her buying a Starbucks once and now she’s known as Coffee Kelly on social media, on censuses, on her passport.
And now I can’t focus on the rest of this goddamn saga cos I can’t stop thinking about the fact that he’s now so rich he’s basically become a loan bank for the entire country and everyone’s still calling him the Chicken Guy.
What Are White People Naming Their Kids This Week: A Report from the Baby Names Discussion Facebook Group // Week of October 12, 2018
Ileigh
Eveyruth
one woman who is asking for advice because her husband wants to choose between Proclus, Empedocles, Ptolemy, Parmenides, Euclid, Plotinus, Zeno, and Heraclitus, and she doesn’t like any of those
Riles
Ranse
Koda
Jetson
one woman who already has a son named Oliver-Fox and has come up with the following shortlist for her second child, a boy: Finley-Wolf, August-Bear, Oakley-Wolf, Atlas-Wolf, Bodhi-Wolf, Levi-Wolf, Remington-Wolf, Ronan-Wolf, Atticus-Wolf, Daxton-Wolf, Ezra-Wolf, Malakai-Wolf, and Sullivan-Wolf
Kainen Malikye
Migel
Sunday Ambrose
Sutton Ignatius
Emerik
Alexavier
Maxton
Legend
Ryzak
one woman seeking advice because she wants to name her son Caillou but her husband says he “hates the little bald brat on that show”
Sylvari
oh my god i almost had a heart attack i thought someone was actually naming their kid Chewbacca but they were talking about a dog
Dashiell Ulysses
Kynthia
Nyshayia
Steen
Kyng
Topanga Jolie
Kopelyn Tate
Aaden
Eske
Ok these are all atrocious except Eveyruth, which if it;’s pronounced Evie-Ruth like i think might be the cutest thing ever.
I’m here to lick slugs and bully geologists, and I’m all out of slugs…
Wtf is with u and licking slugs????
somebody has to do it
we’re not so different you and I…. you lick slugs, we lick rocks…. why must we fight
because you’re disgusting. you’re traumatizing those rocks. I lick slugs because I can. you lick rocks because you want to force them into the agonizing indignity of being Known. they have a right to their secrets.
valar apologist 