Bilbo Baggins: round & fat rabbit that, when encountered, speaks your greatest personal flaw in an unsettling human voice before vanishing in a puff of scented smoke.
Frodo Baggins: magpie that comes into your house at night & quietly alphabetises your book collection. may bring you a book in exchange for an offering of rare mushrooms BUT the book will be in an ancient & unreadable language and heavier than its size suggests.
Sam Gamgee: bear that silently approaches people alone in the woods and gives them a comforting hug. can only be Encountered once but people who have been hugged report seeing him watching them from a distance with big, dark eyes, as if checking up on them.
Merry Brandybuck: fox that stalks travellers and laughs at their misfortune in a human voice, exudes strong sense of tobacco. fears nothing except perhaps fire. do not approach under any circumstances. MAY leave you alone if you leave a pipe on the ground for him.
Pippin Took: bird that first appears in the distance but, every time you look away, gets closer. if he reaches you he will steal all your food. if you leave out a pie for him, he will share his knowledge with you but whatever he tells you will be 100% untrue as he doesn’t actually know shit.
Fatty Bolger: Very Large raccoon that sits outside your window all night and just, stares. rumoured to provide assistance with small-scale problems in exchange for food. smells like pie.
Rosie Cotton: a cat that moves into your house if you leave it empty for too long. it is her house now. do not feed her or she will spawn more and more tiny versions of herself. screams can rupture human ear drums.
Lobelia Sackville-Baggins: tiny goblin that sneaks into your kitchen after you go to bed and steals all your spoons.
Hamfast Gamgee: A large star-nosed mole who, if you neglect your garden, will steal all your plants and take them to his own secret garden to care for. Attentive gardeners, however, have secrets whispered up from the soil on how to make their plants thrive, and he only take a few potatoes as tithe.
Hobbits as Cryptids
Published
valar apologist 