dai characters as john mulaney quotes

lavellanlesbians:

Inquisitor: I’m feeling sort of existentially insane, but I’m trying to hold it together.

Cassandra: I’m so horny and angry all the time and I have no outlet for it.

Leliana: Stop snitchin’, motherfucker.

Josephine: When I walk down the street, I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting.

Cullen: I used to smoke crack.

Varric: The more you do stuff, the better you get with dealing how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

Solas: If it’s one of those “true or false” questions you should be able to add a third option, which is, “who’s to say?”

Vivienne: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

Dorian: Then, for a backstory, I will pepper in the fact that I am gay.

Sera: STREET SMARTS

Cole: Things don’t exist until they exist.

Blackwall: And then I said, “No,” you know, like a liar.

Iron Bull: I took it, drank all of it, and said, “It’s perfume.”

Krem: Oh, well, thank you for asking. Well, you know how I’m full of rage?

Lace Harding: I’m very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress I’m under.

Hawke: I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die.