Things my physio has said to me, part 4
“So, how was your weekend?”
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“What do you mean you went on a roller coaster?”
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“Okay. We can work with this. Does anyone have a crowbar?”
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“That was a rather worryingly loud crack. Fortunately it came from me and not you. Gimme a sec.”
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“Okay that one was you. Are you alive?”
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“You are still worryingly dehydrated. Have you tried using a straw yet? No. I really think you should. But what do I know, I’m just the trained professional.”
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“Well the good news is, your hips are starting to flex more, so good job on those exercises! The bad news? This is still really going to hurt.”
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“I’d really like to not have to work on your styloid process if I can help it. I’d also like a million dollars, just in case you’re up there god… ”
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“Thank you for tapping out. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I don’t enjoy hurting you.”
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“I dunno how you feel about essential oils but–that badly huh. Okay nevermind. Untense, untense.”
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“Yes I am humming the tune to “Dem Bones”. Don’t worry about it.”
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“And now, let’s sit you up and make sure nothing falls off. Excellent. Still got it.”
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valar apologist 