This is kind of a soft request because I don’t want anyone to feel pressured. I’ll set up a ko-fi eventually.
My health hasn’t improved at all, this year. I know that’s been my excuse for not writing. Working 12+ hour days & not being able to do anything creative in my nearly non-existent free time.
*I got a scary kidney diagnosis (final stage renal failure)
*heart diagnosis was already hard enough ten years ago (congestive heart failure)
*ended up hospitalized twice in one month
*nobody knows why I’m throwing up so much (usually once a day. No pattern to help figure out why.)
*my mom… ugh. I started, this year, to try and get her to be more respectful of my time since I was paying most of the bills and working far above and beyond full time. She’s spent the past year keeping me from napping and waking me up screaming if I try to sleep in. Considering fatigue is a symptom of both my illnesses, this behavior is more than annoying. It’s torture and likely made me sicker. Once I stood up to her, she kicked me out. Now, I’m sick AND homeless. What a fun life. (Emotional abuse sucks.)
*mom’s cancer has gotten worse. That’s right. We threw all our resources into fighting it and it’s popping up in other places. …I guess I’m no longer helping deal with that. Can’t pretend I’m not scared, though.
*my stepdad had bypass surgery
*now my stepdad is having complications from bypass surgery
*my brain & memory are shot. Brain fog is real and every one I know would rather be mad than ask if I need help understanding them or reminders. (Sorry I say “huh” constantly.)
*I can’t do -anything- without nausea & a dizzy spell creeping up on me
*Food and I are just not meeting halfway. I’m constantly hungry and when I eat I know I’m going to get nauseated and throw it up, at some point
*I have lost 100 lbs from being sick. I’m weak & have no muscles. Standing up too long makes me wobbly.
I hate that I have to call myself out in order to arrange my thoughts, but I seriously don’t talk to most people 1on1 now because I know my confusion is annoying. I don’t need to be self-hating on top of all this other crap.
I’ve not been able to focus on art or writing after work for months and I’ve recently left my job to keep from getting fired.
So… I guess that brings me to the good things:
*A friend in another state is offering me free lodging so I can get some rest & try to heal. I just need enough money to move (which includes new tires for my car)
Please contribute if you can to my moving & phone fund. So, far, I think I’ve got an okay handle on medical bills. The hospital has put most of those on hold until I get benefits.
*My local friends have been sweethearts, letting me crash on floors and couches. Not the safest bet when one is fresh out of the hospital but definitely better than living in my car
*I no longer have jobs. I’m too tired and slow for them. …but I have time to start writing again. Any contributions you make toward keeping me online (phone bill) will get more fics published
valar apologist 