ultward:

ultward:

ultward:

au where bella just fucks with people. like, jessica asks her why she went out of town and why the cullens are suddenly back and she’s like “oh yeah i flew to italy to save edward from a bunch of evil vampires” and everyone is like “haha funny bella, but like, really what happened” and she just wiggles her eyebrows and moves on with her life

also

alice: *zones out while having a vision*

mike: haha hey you good fam?

alice: oh yeah i’m fine i just like, saw the future

mike: haha you’re hilarious

LIKE THEY COULD JUST SPIT THE TRUTH AND NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE THEM

imagine during eclipse someone dared to jokingly ask bella what went so wrong at her birthday party that made the entire cullen family up and leave town and she just deadpans “oh yeah jasper tried to kill me” and everyone just laughs and moves on with their lives i’m fucking screaming