The Big Secret About Being Trans

cipheramnesia:

This took me… so long to learn.

I went to my GP, I came out, I asked what to do. She was nice, but didn’t know. She managed to set up a referral to an endocrinologist an hour away six months out, so she tried, but it wasn’t her forte.

I went to Planned Parenthood, I got drugs, I asked what to do. Quite smoking I guess they said but that was about it.

I went to my HR director at work, I came out, I asked what to do. She said whatever you want, whatever makes you comfortable.

A year later it has finally sunk in. I literally googled how to come out at work and explained it to HR. I wrote my own email explaining the D is trans. How do you want to do it she asked and I didn’t fucking know so I just made up my own way.

The secret is that there are no fucking rules to this. No one knows what they’re fucking doing, and it’s so poorly understood that at best we have vague ideas and sort of rumors and correlative data and the point is we basically know FUCKING NOTHING.

The big secret is that there’s no rules to being trans, there’s no special right way to be trans, there’s no one specific thing to do or any particular order.

You do your trans like you want to do your trans.

Are you AFAB NB but don’t care about pronouns or looking female – fine, you rock you do your NB style like you do.

Are you wracked with nightmarish dysphoria that reduces you to tears any instant you have to see the body you inhabit. That’s just as valid and you are rockin out with your drugs and surgeries and whatnot.

Get on drugs or don’t or go to a therapist or don’t. Do whatever it takes to make yourself the trans person you feel satisfied about being. Whatever it takes as long as you’re not hurting anybody, just do it.

There are no fucking rules to trans, so you can do it anyway you can manage.