clapricorn:

the signs as vines

aries: next time you fucking put your hands on me i’mma fucking rip your face off bitch

taurus: i could’ve dropped my croissant

gemini: you are such an idiot and you’re a loser

cancer: why did you leave me karen what did i do

leo: annie don’t fall!

virgo: that is not correct

libra: my dick fell off

scorpio: my brother pushed me so i’m starting a kickstarter to put him down

sagittarius: a hoe never gets cold

capricorn: i have no soul, have a nice day!

aquarius: woOOow

pisces: i just realized i’m broke and they’re laughing at me